[vc_row type=”in_container” full_screen_row_position=”middle” column_margin=”default” column_direction=”default” column_direction_tablet=”default” column_direction_phone=”default” scene_position=”center” text_color=”dark” text_align=”left” row_border_radius=”none” row_border_radius_applies=”bg” overflow=”visible” overlay_strength=”0.3″ gradient_direction=”left_to_right” shape_divider_position=”bottom” bg_image_animation=”none”][vc_column column_padding=”no-extra-padding” column_padding_tablet=”inherit” column_padding_phone=”inherit” column_padding_position=”all” column_element_direction_desktop=”default” column_element_spacing=”default” desktop_text_alignment=”default” tablet_text_alignment=”default” phone_text_alignment=”default” background_color_opacity=”1″ background_hover_color_opacity=”1″ column_backdrop_filter=”none” column_shadow=”none” column_border_radius=”none” column_link_target=”_self” column_position=”default” gradient_direction=”left_to_right” overlay_strength=”0.3″ width=”1/1″ tablet_width_inherit=”default” animation_type=”default” bg_image_animation=”none” border_type=”simple” column_border_width=”none” column_border_style=”solid”][vc_column_text]
[/vc_column_text][image_with_animation image_size=”full” animation_type=”entrance” animation=”None” animation_movement_type=”transform_y” hover_animation=”none” alignment=”” border_radius=”none” box_shadow=”none” image_loading=”default” max_width=”100%” max_width_mobile=”default”][vc_column_text]With senior year rapidly coming to a close, I often find myself reflecting on the last four years and all that I have learned both in and out of the classroom. I have been humbled to be approached by underclassmen friends asking for my advice as they are beginning their college experience. Sometimes I share the same advice and sometimes a new insight pops into my head, so I compile this list of advice and insights for my beautiful freshman and sophomore friends who have brought such joy to my life this last year of college. And I hope this list helps and encourages any other students starting their Christian college education.
1. Learn to not stress
The one common denominator experienced by almost every college student throughout his or her 4 years is stress, and understandably so. Most students will likely take an average of 16+ units each semester, which translates to at least four courses. Most students choose to be involved in more than just academics though, be that athletics, student government, inter murals, music, clubs, church, home groups, job, etc… These are all good, life-giving things, but eventually as the semester builds, so does our stress. The first two years of college, I stressed constantly with how much I had to do and worried about whether or not I could get it all done. By my junior year, not only had I learned that stress never helps anything (DUH!), but that I often stressed in vain. One of my friends once said something that has become a maxim of ours: “It always gets done”. For most college students, we will stress out over a huge assignment, paper, or test; perhaps stay up late finishing it and yet we turn it in on time and complete. It always gets done because it has to get done. The average Christian college student will simply not be satisfied with not doing an assignment or routinely turning in assignments late. So on one hand, stress makes it harder to work and focus, and on another hand the fears that fuel our stress are completely unwarranted. By realizing these two things, you will be able to work more efficiently and rest in the fact that you will get it done. This is easier said than done, but the sooner your develop this habit, the more enjoyable school will be and the more joyful you’ll be.
2. Embrace opportunities for fun
You are at college to work hard and learn and so you need to be a diligent student and a good steward of your education and the money you are putting towards your education. Having said that though, you are also not a human-doing; you are a human-being. If you allow school to consume your life so that you are having to say “no” over and again to fun experiences, you will quickly grow bitter and resent school. There is a happy medium, but it requires time-management and planning ahead. Set yourself up such that you are able to say “yes” to the fun, spontaneous events that come up, because they will: from night hikes to pier jumping, to In-N-Out runs and hammocking, and to any other number of creative things that hundreds of college students come up with when they’re all put together in the same dorm. These fun, random opportunities will become precious memories to you in the many years following graduation.
3. Your identity is not in what you do
We all head off to college with preconceived notions of what it will be like, and those notions often include us playing, hanging out with new friends, weekend road trips, spending quality time alone doing what we love (for the introvert), or getting to know the whole freshman class and always hanging out in people’s rooms (for the extrovert). While I just gave a pitch for saying “yes” to such fun, I want to advise you to be careful and not to allow such escapades to become identity-forming. It is extremely easy for college students to place their worth in what they do with friends. Therefore, when they are left out or have to say no to the newest adventure due to homework, they feel like they will miss something. For example, this manifests itself when a group of friends are laughing about a memory or experience and have to fill in their friend who wasn’t there (Note: To practice being a good friend in these settings, be the guy or girl who joyfully fills in the friend who missed out, including every little detail and make them feel like they were there and that you wanted them there). When we’re that person, we feel like there is now a part of our friends’ communal identity that we’ll never be able to relate to. This will only happen though if we are placing our identity in such friendships and experiences. If your identity is rooted in Christ and what He has achieved for you through the cross and resurrection, then you learn to be okay with saying “no” to some of your friends’ escapades without the fear of missing out. This happens with time, as you allow your identity as a son or daughter of the King to become enfleshed in every area of your life.
4. Seek out and create community
Community will fall into your lap more easily in the four years at a Christian college than probably any other time in your life. This is worth taking advantage of. You will be living in a dorm with either all men, all women, or coed. The majority of them will be Christians, and like you are hoping to make lifelong friends in the few years they are at college. And yet given these factors, many students still go through college without experiencing the joys of redeemed communal living; the experiential act of doing life with men and women who are truly your brothers and sisters in Christ. Whether you immediately meet people who are longing for Christ-centered friendships or you have to work at it, I cannot overstate the beauty and redemptive nature of life in the family of God. In his book “Life Together”, theologian Dietrich Bonhoeffer explains what Christian community means:
Christianity means community through Jesus Christ and in Jesus Christ. No Christian community is more or less than this. Whether it be a brief, single encounter or the daily fellowship of years, Christian community is only this. We belong to one another only through and in Jesus Christ. What does this mean? It means, first, that a Christian needs others because of Jesus Christ. It means, second, that a Christian comes to others only through Jesus Christ. It means, third, that in Jesus Christ we have been chosen from eternity, accepted in time, and united for eternity.
Though I love learning and have appreciated my college education, one of my frustrations has been that I get so little time to be with my closest friends; to talk, go on long walks together, meet in each others rooms or at each other’s houses and enjoy each other’s company, both singularly and collectively. Jamie Smith in his book “Desiring the Kingdom: Worship, Worldview, and Cultural Formation” makes the point that we are not primarily thinking-things (thought that is certainly a part of who we are), but that we are primarily beings oriented by our desires and ability to love. Smith is right and it explains why I have grown just as much from relationships and community as I have from academics, if not more. So I encourage you to be intentional about seeking out community at your Christian college. If you can’t find it, then create it. Be the person who brings others together and creates a culture of Christ-centered relationships, for these will be for your good and God’s glory.
5. Get involved in a small group
Along with being part of a good community of friends dedicated to the Lord, I believe it is also important to set aside time once a week to meet with a small group of good friends in some type of bible study or small group. To touch briefly on my own experience, I have been meeting on a weekly basis during the school year with the same guys since freshman year, with a couple added on during my sophomore year. This has been transformative for us all, because it gives us a couple hours a week to simply slow down and hear about each other’s week, struggles, delights, prayer requests, and anything else going on in our lives. We use this time to dig for gold in each other and open the scriptures together. My friends and I are often reminded of Hebrews 10:24-25 during our times together:
And let us consider how we may spur one another on toward love and good deeds, not giving up meeting together, as some are in the habit of doing, but encouraging one another—and all the more as you see the Day approaching.
Some of these things have to be learned by experience, but I offer them to you now so you can begin implementing them early in your college experience. My hope would be that by hearing from someone just a little further down the road, you would be given a head start to getting the most out of your time at a Christian college. I have grown more in the last four years than in any other period of my life and much of that is due to the thoughts I listed above. They are my gift to you. Take them as you will.[/vc_column_text][image_with_animation image_size=”full” animation_type=”entrance” animation=”None” animation_movement_type=”transform_y” hover_animation=”none” alignment=”” border_radius=”none” box_shadow=”none” image_loading=”default” max_width=”100%” max_width_mobile=”default”][/vc_column][/vc_row]